A Mommy's Open Letter to Santa

 

Dear Santa,

 

I know I'm a 28 year old mom and shouldn't be writing you a personal letter, so I decided to be a grown up and write you an open letter instead.  Who said adults can't have fun and write letters to Santa?  There are just a few things that I want this Christmas, that I know I'm not going to get, but hey; I want to get it off my chest anyway.  As much as us moms say that we don't want anything for Christmas, everyone has something that they want but just don't want to say!  So here is my list.

 

1. I would like a new pair of Uggs.  Yes, I know that I already have a pair but they're three years old, have been repaired twice and are stained from water and snow.  Of course I had them waterproofed when I bought them, but I'm sure that wore off after a year and I was just way too lazy to get them back to the shop to get them waterproofed again.  I know, I know, it's my own fault.  If you're feeling kind, Santa, I would like this pair of Uggs.  They don't go with everything but they're a bright pop of color when the weather is dreary and snowy, why not be daring?  You may be questioning me since I have so many pairs of Fuugs (Fake Uggs...boots that look like Uggs but are not!) but they are not the same.  They're cheaply made, rip after one season and aren't as warm; but I do rock my Fuggs everywhere I go. 

 

2. A blue iPod Touch would be nice too.  I've been wanting to purchase one for myself and have been, on numerous occasions, close to buying one.  I just can't justify purchasing something I am never ever going to use.  I have an iPhone, I have a computer and a laptop and also have an iPad, but I do not have an iPod Touch and that's the only reason why I want one.  The blue is so pretty and really stands out.  I probably would never use it since all my music is streamed through Rdio and I never actually download music, but whatever.  I can ask, you're Santa.

 

3. What about a nice North Face jacket to keep me warm?  I purchased a pair of waterproof and fleec-y North Face boots about three years ago and absolutely love them.  They're my go-to winter boots when I need to go out in the snow.  You wouldn't think they're waterproof because the outside is fleece, but they really are.  So why not ask for a jacket that is probably warmer and more awesome than the boots?  Eh, I can dream, right?

 

4. Just a good ole' gift card.  There are a number of things I want to buy at any given time but aren't interesting or significant enough to really write in this open letter.  Santa, you should know what they are, but I will make it easy for you.  Just leave a gift card under the tree.

 

5. I would love some time to myself.  Just a day where I can relax, clean my house without it being messed up again within minutes, cook an actual dinner and just can relax on the couch watching mindless TV.  That would probably be my main Christmas wish!  I love my kids and my mother, but they always want my attention or need my help with something.  If I just had one day to relax I'm sure I wouldn't freak out and have nervous breakdowns as much as I actually do. If you can't get me some time to myself, maybe you can throw some magic dust down from our roof on Christmas Eve for my kids to be calm and behave.  It would be nice to have my girls actually listen to things I say and obey me.  I'm so tired of saying:

 

"Clean your room."  Numerous times a day.

"Do your homework." Again numerous times a day.

"Get up or you're going to be late for school."  About 5 times every morning.

"No, you can't pile 15 stuffed animals on your bed at night, you'll suffocate." 

 

Why can't they just listen to me? 

 

So Santa, if you're feeling generous and feel like granting some adults Christmas wishes, please do!  They would be incredibly happy!  I definitely have been a good girl this year.  (Sort of...) 

 

Sincerely,

Kristin

 

DISCLAIMER: I know most of you would take this in humor and good spirits but some others may think I'm a little nuts in the head.  I know that Santa is not real, but just felt like writing a letter since my kids get all the fun of doing that! Trust me, I did have fun.  I felt like a child again.

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Smartphones are making us dumb

This was my first cell phone, sexy right?  

I remember going to the mall with my mom and seeing a Motorola kiosk hidden in a corner of the mall.  I don't remember if I asked my mom for a cell phone or if she thought that I was old enough to have one,  but I remember that I got one that day.  It was a dark blue color  and was on the Siemens network, which is now AT&T.  Man, I thought I was the SHIT with that phone!  I even remember finding (I think my mom did on Ebay?) an 'N Sync "faceplate" for this phone, I really thought I was the coolest thing since sliced bread.    My phone had the ability to call, text and maybe play one game -- it wasn't color and was three times the size of the iPhone.  It was nothing special in today's standards, but back them it was awesome. Now, I wish that I could say my obsession with cell phones and the latest technology never started, but that very old (and very ugly) cell phone was just the start of everything. 

My 7 year old frequently asks me what we did for fun before cell phones, iPads, computers, real video games and electronic toys.  

"We used our imagination and played outside getting exercise." I always tell her. 

Apparently, using your imagination and actually running around with your friends outside is unheard of for 50% of children in this day and age.  That's because we have technology that fries our brains and does all of the thinking for us -- smart phones have literally made this generation dumb.  

I remember when I was 7 (back in 1992) and I had to use my imagination to play outside with my friends with our Barbies.  When our parents wouldn't let us take our Barbies outside, we had to actually come up with games to play that did not include toys.  My kids would be lost if they had to do the same things I did as a kid, it's pretty sad.

Technology and cell phones has definitely changed family life in our home.  When I was a child, our nights used to be filled with doing homework, eating dinner, taking a bath, watching some television as a family with the one TV we had in the living room, my mom would play with me with my dollhouse, puzzle, coloring books, etc... and then we would go to bed, reading a book together.  Now, it seems like everyone is in their own world.  I have my 5 year old on the iPad, my 7 year old on her iPod, my mom watching TV and myself constantly on my cell phone.  Is that what family time has come to now?  No one talking to each other or paying any attention to each other?  Secondly, technology has definitely promoted procrastination especially with my 7 year old.   She brings her iPod to the dinner table, she uses her iPod as an excuse to put off doing homework, she uses her iPod as an excuse to go to bed and I even find her in bed with her iPod at times.  I do admit, I haven't been too tough on her about it; mostly because I feel that I can't tell her not to do it when I do it myself.  

I actually never realized just how much technology has consumed us until recently when I saw, waiting in line, how many people were texting, playing games, on the phone, etc...  Up until that point I never paid too much attention to it, knowing that cell phones were a large part of everyone's lives.  I admit to being on my phone way too much when with friends, I also admit to sitting at a table with one of my best friends -- each of us on our phones, not talking to each other.  Where has actual human face-to-face communication gone?  Out with the times?  (To my friends who know that I am on my phone constantly -- I know, this is hypocritical of me to say.)

My mom brought up a good point the other day...

"Kids don't have to know anything anymore.  Whatever they want to know, they just google."

That's the truth.  My daughter came home the other day saying that she had to Google something she asked in class.  I asked her why she had to Google it and she told me that her teacher told her to Google the answer when she asked the question.  This is a first grade classroom, can't the teacher answer a simple question?  Is Google going to turn into our teachers in the future?  It sure seems like it from what I'm hearing from my daughter and other kids in her class.

While I do need my phone on me most of the time for my business, clients, etc... I do wish that there were times I could get away from my phone.  I actually feel panic and anxiety when I can't find it for 5 minutes or when I accidentally leave it at home when I run out to do errands, it's a very unhealthy fear that I wish I didn't have.  I don't have to keep refreshing my mail, but I do anyway -- what if that client e-mails me back and I don't respond immediately?  I know they're not going to magically disappear, but that fear is in the back of my mind, and it is an irrational fear too!

I just think it's sad and scary how technology has changed our lives and caused so much interruption when we are with others.  The part that is scarier?  It's just going to get worse as technology grows and advances, there's probably no end in sight for our obsessiveness with technology.

Are you addicted to your phone?  Is your family?

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The Power of Mother's Intuition: A Preemie Story.

I found this post in my drafts and realized that I never completed it.  I thought it was definitely something important to post, so I am now completing this. :)

I was inspired to write this post by reading one of Theta Mom's posts on mother's intuition.

I had been in early labor for two weeks with my oldest daughter.  I honestly had absolutely no idea that I was in early labor.  I felt occasional contractions, some painful and some just tightening, but that was it.  Of course it was uncomfortable, but anything after 30 weeks should be uncomfortable -- or so I thought.

35 weeks I went into the ER because I had a suspicion that I was leaking fluid.  They hooked me up to the machine  that monitors contractions, did a paper test to see if I was leaking fluid and did an internal to monitor any cervical changes.   The next thing I remember hearing, "I hope you're ready to have this baby tonight, because you're being induced."  

Turns out, I had been leaking fluid for a few days, I had a very high fever and my blood pressure was through the roof...  I was borderline pre-eclampsic until that night, they then diagnosed me with full blown pre eclampsia.  They were petrified that I would seize because of how high my blood pressure was so they immediately rushed me up to labor and delivery.

Since I tested positive for Strep B, I was hooked up to an amoxicillin IV and also hooked up to Pitocin to induce my labor and Magnesium Sulfate for the pre-eclampsia.  I was just a hot mess when I was in labor.  I ended up having a high fever, couldn't hold anything down including the Tylenol they gave me, the epidural made everything below the hip completely numb to the point where I felt like I was paralyzed... I'll save the entire birth story for another day!

After a 14 hour labor, my daughter was born.  Since she was born at 35 weeks, they considered her premature.  Even though she was 8lbs 7oz, she had complications as any preemie would. Her sucking reflex was non existent. She wasn’t able to suck on a bottle to drink at all. So they had to insert a gastro tube to get any formula down to her AT ALL.  I couldn't see my daughter at all the first day, aside from when they quickly let me hold her after she was born, because I was supposed to be in bed for 24 hours after being on the Magnesium Sulfate and my daughter had to be in the NICU.  From everything I heard, she was perfectly fine the first day and a half until I saw her.

They wheeled me down in a wheelchair a day and a half after I had her so I could see her in her little isolette.   To make a long story short, every day she did take a little more formula by bottle, although her sucking reflex was not developed.  Unfortunately, what she did take down came right back up.  They tried many different formulas, did many different tests and spoke of doing surgery; the word surgery petrified me, as she was just a few days old and my little baby.

I was a mess.  Every day I had to leave the hospital I cried uncontrollably, I would cry myself to sleep, I would pray and would beg the NICU doctor (Ironically named Dr. Stork) to please let her come home.  I even went as far as to threaten to sign her out AMA (Against Medical Advice) because I wanted my baby home with me.  Obviously I didn't -- but only because they told me that my insurance wouldn't pay for any of her treatment if I signed her out AMA...

One day as I was talking to my friends on the JustMommies Oct 05 DDC (Due Date Club) I found out something that the doctors hadn't even brought up at that time -- there was a formula that they had not tried that was specifically for babies with digestive issues and reflux; Similac Alimentum.  I went to the store, purchased special Dr. Brown bottles, the Similac Alimentum and brought it to the NICU with me.  I told the nurse, Carol, that I wanted to try this and backed it up with research I had printed off.  She agreed to let me do whatever I had to do.  Guess what?  Within 4 days it was working and Alayna had been gaining weight consistently.  After a month and two weeks in the NICU, my baby was coming home and I was ecstatic.

I owe a lot to that nurse, she was there to comfort me when I had nervous breakdowns, she explained as much as she could in such a soothing way, she made sure that Alayna was taken care of every minute of every day and she allowed me to try what I felt was right, as a mother.

It just goes to show that sometimes mother does know best, even when the medical professionals overlook something so easy.  Sure, she was on acid reflux medication until she was 2 years old and she still has trouble drinking or eating anything acidic, but she's the most beautiful and healthy little 7 year old any mother could ever ask for.  She's my best friend and I wouldn't change it for anything.  I'm glad I listened to myself before agreeing to anymore tests or any surgeries for my baby.  

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All because I started blogging

I've been blogging here for 4 years.  This blog started out as a blog for my jewelry shop in 2008 until I realized that I missed blogging about my kids and my life.  I missed networking with moms, sharing life experiences, making friends and writing. Once I realized what I was missing in my life, I decided on turning this into a blog about me and my family; I'm so glad I did.

Over the past 4 years I have met some great people, had the chance to work with some great companies and I had the chance to grow.  Looking back at posts from 2009, I realized just how much I've grown over the past few years.

Four years ago I was 24 years old, struggling to make ends meet for my kids by taking on seasonal retail jobs, I was not comfortable in my own skin and wanted to embellish to make myself sound "cooler" than I was.  Even though it didn't seem like it, I was still suffering from post partum depression...and a bad case of it.  I hated myself and my life, I was grasping for straws to find anything that would make me happy.  I spent money because, well, retail therapy... I was slightly irresponsible and didn't pay attention to finances.  I took advantage of the fact that I lived with my mom and lived in the house for free and was just generally an unhappy person; even though I didn't let it show.

Since then I've learned the real value of money and how important it is to budget and make sure that you don't frivoulsly spend money.  Hell, I still love to shop and retail therapy still helps me feel better, but I don't spend nearly as much as I used to.  I've become a better mother and started disciplining my girls instead of letting them have free reign of everything, I feel they respect me more because of that.  I still have lingering depression but it's not half as bad as it was 4 years ago.  I've learned to love myself and learned that if I wanted something different about myself, I had to go do it myself.  I have the power to change my own life and my own future and I am definitely taking control of it now.  I learned, over the past four years, that I am a pretty damn cool person.  I've learned that if someone doesn't like me for who I am, screw them.  I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not for anyone.

Of course, my blog isn't as successful as I want it to be, but that will come with more time and dedication to making it into something spectacular.  My blog has also gotten me into the job field I am in today; Marketing Manager/SEO Consultant.  Due to the fact that I needed to learn more about promotion, keywords, social media, etc...  I've learned so much and have done extensive research into being successful at it all.  I'm sure I still have plenty to learn, but I know enough to impress companies and get them the results that they want.  I may not have my "dream SEO/Social Media" job as of yet but I know there is earning potential, I feel that the more I work and the more I learn, the more opportunity I will have to be successful...I just have to keep working towards my dreams.

I owe my new found maturity, self confidence and partial success to my blog and all my readers.  It's been a great four years sharing here and I'm hoping for many more to come.

How has your blog changed you?

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Insanity Gone Viral

I actually saw this photo on Facebook last night and thought it was a joke... That was until I saw this actual article on Yahoo, then I just wished it was a joke.  Who, in their right mind, would leave their child in the car while shopping?  It doesn't matter if it's for two minutes, twenty minutes or two hours; you are a parent.  Your child is YOUR responsibility, not an inconvenience to you.

For those of you who do not know, this happened in New Zealand.  The Yahoo article states:

A photograph taken in New Zealand is causing quite an uproar around the world. The photo at the center of the controversy is of an infant asleep in a car seat locked alone inside a car. A note, seemingly written from the baby's perspective, is attached to the chest and reads, "my mums in doing the shopping, call her if I need anything." There is a phone number written at the end.

This child has to be a few days to a week old, sleeping peacefully in her car seat.  All her mother had to do was snap the carrier out of the base and place the carrier on the front of the shopping cart.  I mean, on average a newborn baby sleeps 16-18 hours out of the day, I doubt this little one was going to interrupt her mother's shopping.

Another part of the article states:

The couple also noted that the baby did look well taken care of and that they know how difficult it can be to get an infant to go to sleep.

I'm sure the baby was well taken care of however it seems like the mother feels the child is an inconvenience to her when she is going out.  It is the mother's responsibility to make sure the child is always well taken care of and that means not leaving her sleeping newborn in an unattended car.  Who knows what could have happened?  Someone could have stolen the car, kidnapped this baby, etc...  The worst part about the above quoted statement is that it seems this couple condones what the mother did by stating that they understand how difficult it is to get a newborn to sleep.  I actually couldn't believe what I was reading when I was reading it.

In my honest opinion, the New Zealand police should have at least charged the mother with child endangerment.  I can't believe they aren't charging her at all since a formal complaint was never filed.  It sickens me to know that this mother might continue to leave her child in the car while she's shopping, especially in this uncertain and dangerous world we live in.

Ok, Ok, maybe I've threatened to leave my kids in the car a few times, especially when we're going to Toys R Us, but I never do! (Even though the temptation is so strong sometimes.)

What do you think about this article?

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What do you think about getting a child a computer?

My oldest daughter just turned 7 in October and for over two years she has been heavily into computers.  At age 5 she asked me to show her how to use the computer to play games and I obliged.  After all, this is the age of technology and I feel the more kids understand it the better off they are.  

For the past two years she has had 30 minutes a day after school to use my computer and play the games she wants to play, which I have absolutely no problem with.  However, this year she asked me if Santa could bring her a laptop just for herself.  After thinking about it and deciding that I could splurge on a small Netbook for my daughter, I set off to look for the perfect laptop for a 7 year old that will last, be easy for her to use and something that can grow with her.

I am on various discussion boards aimed at moms and asked around to see if anyone knew of laptops that would be perfect for my little girl.  I got some great ideas but also a lot of people who told me, basically, that I am spoiling her and handing everything to her on a silver platter.  Then I also got the parents who decided upon themselves, without knowing me, that I’m not watching what my daughter is doing on the computer and I have to be careful.  First of all, I may be 27 years old but I know how to parent thank-you-very-much.  I am 100% aware of what my daughter does on the computer and implement the correct parental controls so she does not see things she shouldn’t see.  I feel very confident that my daughter knows what is right and what is wrong but I also watch what she is doing when she is on the computer.  

Kids in our school district began using computers in Pre-School and it continues all the way up to 8th grade.  Both of my daughters have computer classes to learn the important skills that will be needed in the future.  Computer skills are absolutely vital these days because of the wealth of information that they can learn from websites.  I grew up learning how to use a computer and now have a day job working all day on a computer, I know the importance of learning the skills and using the computer.  I am a very technologically savvy mom and want my kids to do the same.  I’m not trying to spoil them, I want them to learn to be independent, gain computer skills and be able to look something up when they have a question.  I believe it is important for them to learn problem solving skills via the internet and I will always push that.  Of course, I will also always monitor them to make sure that they are making the correct decisions online and will take appropriate action if any of my rules are broken.  

What do you think about getting a 7 or 8 year old a laptop?

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Is banning children considered discrimination?

Banning children from public places such as restaurants, planes, certain stores and so on has been making headlines lately.  North Carolina restaurant Olde Salty was the first to start in the trend by posting a sign stating, “Screaming children will not be tolerated.”  A Pittsburgh area restaurant McDain’s took it a step further and actually banned children under 6 from their restaurant.  It doesn’t stop with those two, Malaysia airlines actually banned infants from many of their cabins and other public places are beginning to follow suit.  Is this fair or is this discrimination?

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Summer is coming! Children in Bikinis? Your opinions!

I recently saw this topic on Momversation and in light of summer coming up, I feel this is a good debate to spark on my blog and maybe some others as well.  It's definitely something that has many different opinions and I am sure moms cannot agree on what is right and what is wrong.  It has many moms and families split down the middle.  

Remember the news headlines a few weeks ago about Abercrombie Kids having a padded string bikini for kids?  Well, I believe this really sparked the conversations and debates about whether or not children should wear bikinis to the beach since their little (and very inappropriate) bikinis became front page news.  

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Plastic Surgery to Stop Bullying?

Can't we just love who we are?

I have spoken a lot about bullying on my blog, because it is important to me.  I was bullied from ages 8-18 and I hated it.  I was picked on for absolutely anything that kids could find to pick on me about, and they continued to bully me all through school because I let it get to me.  I would be picked on for my hair being too thick, for being to chubby, for having glasses and braces and even for being adopted.  The bottom line is, kids are cruel and unfortunately, the only thing those being bullied can do about it is to stand their ground and not let it visually shake them.  Easier said than done, right?

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Five Simple Things You Can Do for Your Child to Help Keep Their Smiles Healthy and Bright

It is a constant struggle to get my children to brush their teeth. I want to say that I'm not exactly sure what the big deal is, but I remember fighting my mother on it when I was younger. It seems to be a common struggle among all parents and something all children dread.

Even though it's something we all hate doing or making our children do, it is very necessary. Cavities, tooth decay or other dental diseases are definitely no laughing matter. Especially when we realize, later in life, just how important a white sparkling smile actually is.

So how do we get our children to brush our teeth? How do we get this to be less of a fight three times a day?

1. 
   
   Let your children pick out their toothbrushes and toothpaste! I find that when my girls go to the store to decide upon their own design/characters, they're more inclined to be excited about brushing their teeth. Toothpaste for children comes in many different flavors, colors and have many of their favorite characters on the packaging. It can be as simple as letting them make their own decision and getting them hyped up about using their favorite products while brushing their teeth!
   
   
2. 
   
   You have to make it fun! There are many ways to do this. Many toothbrushes, these days, have music that you can press on the brush. For the duration of that song is how long you must keep brushing your teeth! My daughter had a Hannah Montana toothbrush that played a song. I have also seen Disney Characters, Nickelodeon Characters and some others! Another way to do this is to make up a song to sing for the 3 minutes your child should be brushing. You can make up some funny and kooky songs to sing to your children while they're brushing their teeth! Who knows, they may actually just catch on and start singing it to you when you're brushing your teeth!
   
   
3. 
   
   If your children are young, like mine are, you must brush their teeth for them. However, before you do help, let them take a crack at it by themselves! Tell them that they can brush their own teeth and be a big girl/boy and afterward, you'll touch up to make sure they're as sparkly and shiny as they can be! It's important that children know the importance of a sparkly pearly white smile.
   
   
4. 
   
   Limit the sugary drinks, junk food and sugary foods. These foods cause tooth decay and cause the enamel on your teeth to thin and sometimes dissipate! You don't want that, you want teeth to be as strong as they can be! Try out some healthy foods and dress them up to your liking. There are many ways to do this! Sugary foods and drinks can be an occasional treat.
   
   
5. 
   
   There are various types of gum that are great for teeth and that do prevent cavities! I'm a strong believer in this! If your child is old enough to chew gum and understand how to chew gum safely, give them their favorite flavor of gum after snacks and meals – between brushing. It will help eliminate the food and plaque build up! My kids love this step just as much as they enjoy blowing bubbles with their gum!

Fighting about keeping teeth and gums healthy shouldn't be a hard fight. Maybe using some of these steps into your every day routine will lessen or eliminate the fight all together! Your children will thank you in the future when they have a great smile.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Trident blogging program, making me eligible to get a $25 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here

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Five important lessons every kid should learn.

As parents, we want our children to get the most out of what we teach them and we also want them to get along well in life by what we teach them.  When children are young they're like sponges; they absorb absolutely everything around them and everything we teach them.  Their young minds are eager to learn.  There are many lessons that our children should learn, but these are a few that I find are very important for present and future.

1. Children need to learn responsibility. Some children depend on their parents for everything and that is OK in some cases, however children do need to learn responsibility early on when they want to learn.  Give your children some age appropriate chores.  You can give them an allowance or small reward if you desire, but make sure they don't learn to depend on the reward/allowance and make sure they learn WHY they're doing the chores.  You don't want them doing the chores half heartedly.  Teach them that responsibility is something they're going to have their entire lives.  Independence will eventually be very important.

2. Respect.  I was a child that was bullied and it made my life a living hell.  I think all parents should teach their child respect and the importance of including all types of children into their activities and friendships.  There is no reason for excluding others because they are different.  No two children are exactly alike.  Children definitely pick on others for absolutely no reason, and I believe that if more parents taught their children the importance of respect for others there would be less bullied kids.  

3. You have to like yourself for others to like you.  Confidence is extremely important in life and extremely important to learn while you're young.  It will carry on throughout your entire life.  Teach your children to love themselves just the way they are.  I was always taught that if you carry yourself with confidence it will help you in your school work, activities, career path as well as general success.  Believe in yourself.

4. Parents aren't trying to be the bad guy.  If we say no to something, it's because we know better.  We're not trying to be mean.  I remember when I was a child and my mom would be overprotective -- I would tell her she hated me, I would say terrible things that I'm sure every daughter must say to their mothers at least once in their lives.  I never realized that parents are overprotective just because they love their children and are doing all they can to protect them from danger and from mistakes that they themselves have made in the past.

5. The importance of saving money and financial stability.  Starting early is important for the future.  Teach your children how they get money by working for it and teach them that working and saving their money is important for getting things they'd like to have.  You can start to teach them by dividing up their allowances and birthday money into a few separate envelopes.  (Possibly a saving envelope, a pocket money envelope and an envelope to go into the bank.)  Once they start to see the money add up, they will want to keep on adding to those envelopes.  Teach them that the way they have TV, phone service, internet, etc... is to pay the bills monthly.  It's also very important to teach them about credit cards and make sure they know that the money they spend with a credit card they DO have to pay back.  As a child, I thought a credit card was plastic money.  I thought it was basically free and we never had to use our real money for it.  

“I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Nanny McPhee Returns blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.” (make sure to link to: http://nannymcphee.twittermoms.com/about)

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