It sucks to be head of household.

Every year on my taxes, I file head of household.  Why?  Because basically, I am.  My mom is unemployed because she cannot work.  She has had an injured knee for years and since she is unemployed and has no income, she doesn't have insurance to get the surgery that she needs.  While I am trying to see if I can add her to my benefits for health insurance at my job, we have to wait to see if that can be done.  So for now, she watches my girls when I am at work and I give her what I can for babysitting my two maniacs kids.  I know that what I give her per week isn't a lot, but it is enough to get her through what she currently needs.  I know that she wants to get a job to help out.  I also feel that once she gets her knee surgery and can stand and walk again, she definitely will try to get something little to bring more money into the house.  My mom has always worked and I know she feels helpless when she can't do much.

It's so hard, being a 25 (and 3\4!) year old single mom who is also supporting her mother and everything in the house.  Especially since I am one that works two jobs and tries to hold down the home as well.  My jobs aren't high paying jobs, they're retail and reception.  While I do get paid more than other employees because of my experience and work ethic, it's still difficult to work all I have to work to get the money we need to keep the house going.  Now that I do have two jobs, I am trying to save money per paycheck in a savings account and emergency fund.  We have to get back on our feet, and we will.  I feel so useless, sometimes, that we live paycheck to paycheck, but that's all that can be done right now.  In the future, I hope to get a job that pays more so we can be comfortable and not apprehensive, but at least we are no longer worrying about where our next meal will come from.  (A few years ago, that was actually one of our concerns.)

This is why I clip and search for coupons, this is why I have put so much time into studying the right way to use and stack coupons and this is why I try to save all I can where I can.  It's a really great feeling to get a $100 grocery bill for $40 or even sometimes less.  This is why I go to many different stores and not just one grocery store, but this is also why I am stressed.  Sometimes it feels like I am running errands all day and have no break time.  I also wish that my mom would appreciate me more for all that I do.

My mom is a great person, she really is.  I love her for so many reasons and appreciate her for adopting me and giving me the life that I wouldn't have had otherwise.  She supported me for so many years, even working two jobs at one point so I could have what I wanted.  I love my mom and I know that I am giving back to her by supporting her right now.  Sometimes, though, I feel like I am underappreciated and not giving the credit that I am due.  There are times that she yells at me for being out going to different stores, but how else would we get the good deals that we are?  There are even times she yells at me for being exhausted and wanting to take a nap.  I work two jobs that are very difficult and stressful.  On top of that, cleaning the house as much as I have to, making dinner, figuring out what to make for dinner, and all the other mommy-hood duties -- at the end of the day I am asleep standing up.  Sometimes I just wish she would understand and thank me for all I do.  She does occasionally, but the days that she disrespects me and tells me I am lazy, it hurts. 

I shouldn't be complaining about this and I should be lucky that I have a mother who cares and watches my kids, that I have a place to live and that I have a job to support my family and put food on the table.  I just needed to get this off my chest.  This is why I love blogging, I can rant and rave and maybe one or two people who read this would relate.

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If I were blonde, skinny and very awkward looking, that would be me today.  You will never believe how much stress one person can have until it happens to you.  For the past few days my stress level has skyrocketed and today I really feel like I can just hit a wall.  I am absolutely exhausted, over worked and frustrated with absolutely everything.

The snow really started it all off the other day.  The three hours that I spent outside shoveling my car out just to go to the grocery store, the hour I tried to help my uncle dig his car out yesterday, and the frustration that even though I just spent $900 to get my car fixed, it is starting the same issue again.  Add to that, my house is a mess.  My kids have been absolute terrors -- I think it's cabin fever.  I want to take them out in the snow for a little while to get some fresh air and expend some energy, but they're sick.  Sneezing, sniffles, slight fevers...the both of them.  So as of now, snow is a no-no.  Right now, as I sit at work, they're probably at home terrorizing the entire house and the adults inside.  I owe my mom and uncle HUGE for being babysitters while I work.  Especially when my kids are acting the way that they are acting right now. It's absolutely crazy.  Who knew a 3 and 5 year old can reak so much havok on one house.  (Looks can be deceiving, apparently!)

Snow that was scheduled for today, thankfully, never came.  However, we do have a huge storm that is going to hit Tuesday into Wednesday.  I don't know what I'm going to do or how I am going to handle that.  At the point we're at, Alayna will be in school until July with all the snow days they're having.  I'm so stressed out that it is really affecting my health.  I'm getting headaches, not feeling well, wanting to eat everything in sight and it doesn't help that this is ALL added into PMS.  I'm just a bundle of fun right now, trust me.  (You wouldn't want to be around me.)

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Anyone else sick of snow?

The weekend after Christmas we got slammed with a little over 30 inches of snow.  Every week (at least once a week) after that, we have had a storm.  Even though some of the snow falls were minimal, < 6in, I am sick of it.  

As a child, I LOVED the snow.  I would pray for snow just to play in it and have a snow day.  Now as an adult, it isn't that fun.  Shoveling, getting your car out, driving in it, not being able to get to places you need to go...  It's all frustrating.  Whenever I hear about a storm coming, I turn the TV off.  I just can't even stand to listen to it.  

My girls, of course, love the snow.  When they hear of snow in the forecast, it's a celebration for them.  Granted, my 5 year old is in the frame of mind that I was at when I was her age -- Snowdays!  Little does she know, in public school the snow days add up.  If they pass their allotted amount of snow days, that means more school time at the end of the year.  She'll learn that in June...we have already passed our allotted time thanks to Mother Nature.  

At least I can be grateful that I do not miss work becuse of the snow.  My morning job at H&R Block, I live just 5 blocks away.  It's easy for me to walk or slowly drive there.  My second job in the afternoon/night, I work from home.  I have no excuse to miss work because of the inclimate weather! (Though sometimes I wish I did have an excuse.  Two jobs is exhausting!)  

Is anyone else sick and tired of the snow?  I feel like I'm shoveling snow more than I am doing anything else...and that just might be true.  12-16 inches in the forecast for tonight/tomorrow and I have an appointment to take my mom to at 7 am.  I can't miss that...so, that means shoveling every damn two hours through the night.

I'll survive tomorrow somehow... Anyone have redbull I can have?

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What our kid's kids won't know...

While at work today (I know, shame shame) I was reading Yahoo and saw this article on the front page.  Thinking about this for a while, from reactions my daughter had to some items that we still have at home, this blog is long overdue!  Featured promidently on the front page was this article about, Things Babies Born in 2011 Will Never Know About...  Having thought about this for a long time, I thought it's about damn time I blog about it...

We have lived in the same house all my life, and actually, my mom has lived there for 56 years as well.  So as you can imagine, our home is filled with items that are antique, vintage and just old!  There are things there from her childhood as well as mine.  (Yes, we STILL have old toys of mine -- we're packrats!)  Since we are going to have to be moving sooner or later, we have been slowly clearing through things we don't want anymore.  Now, you know kids are very nosey, and mine have been wanting to see and play with toys that we had put away that were mine.  I've heard many different things from them from, "Hey, this Barbie doesn't have fashionable clothes!" to "These toys don't make sounds?" and even, "This gameboy is black and white!"  Ahh, kids of the technology age...  I had to explain to them that the technology in the 80's and 90's really wasn't what it is now.  Video game systems were black and white for a while as well as pixelated when they finally got color.  Try explaining that to a 5 year old who ALREADY thinks you're old at 25. (And 3/4s!)

This article is right on at most of the items that they feature.  My kids only know about VHS tapes because I brought some up that have older kids shows on them. (And even then, they giggled about the poor quality! We didn't have HDTV back then!)  They have no idea what a cassette tape is, I showed them once and they laughed.  They asked how I got that into a CD player in my car. Ha! 

Most importantly, kids will not know how to use their imagination when they play with each other.  What about just going outside and playing a nice game of tag?   Video games and other electronic toys have prevented kids from being active.  It's difficult, these days to get kids off the computer, video games, etc... to actually go outside.  (I know this first hand.)  It isn't only the kids fault, some of their parents also encourage this and use TV, Video Games and so on as "babysitters".  However, that isn't the way that we should be dealing with our children.  Quality time is important for behavior and growth.

It's actually pretty intriguing how technology  has changed even from the 1980's when I was born.  Things have advanced so much and will just keep advancing in the future.  I found that article pretty interesting for many reasons. (Even though, I do disagree about the watch -- people still will wear watches as fashion pieces.  Seldom do people want to actually dig in their purse or reach in their pockets to find out the time)  Our children are the future.  They will see more changes and advances than anyone else. 

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