They Grow Up So Quickly! Olivia's 7th Birthday Party.

Time flies when you're having fun.  My daughter's birthday is actually on December 21st but after years of having trouble getting kids to come to her party, so close to Christmas, we pushed her party up a few weeks this year. Finally, we were able to have almost everyone that she invited come to her party! 

A brand new Chuck E Cheese just opened up two weeks ago about 10 minutes from our house, so we jumped to book the party there. It's actually really funny because that same place is where I had MANY parties as a child. Except back then it was Discovery Zone. (does anyone remember Discovery Zone?) 

Her party had a Frozen theme (duh, frozen is life. Doesn't everyone know that?) but I had such a hard time finding any frozen cakes. I usually make my kids' cakes but between her being sick last week, work and just hectic life, I didn't have the time to. I ran to Walmart this morning and found this perfect purple, blue and pink cake and picked up some smaller Frozen figures which worked perfectly on top of the cake. Voila! Frozen themed cake. (How great am I? Go on! You can say it!)

The party ended up being perfect. The girls had so much fun, got tons of tickets to turn in for prizes and my little princess was the happiest kid on the planet. 

My girls are very close and my 9 year olds friends are also my 6 (and a half) year olds friends, so we invited three of their mutual 9 year old friends as well. My youngest and her 1st grade friends felt so cool because they were hanging out with third graders. It was adorable!  The older kids had fun too but they, of course, thought Chuck E was corny! 

After the party, we heard that Geoffrey the Giraffe was at Toys r Us and that they were doing a free ornament decorating activity. Well, Toys r Us was right next door so we went to see what was up! We walked in and Geoffrey was right there in the front and my girls were super excited to meet him! My youngest said, "Wow, you're so tall!" She was absolutely enthralled with the man in the giraffe costume! 

Side note: When my 9 year old was just a month old, she was asked to be in a babies r Us fashion show in New York. Well, I have a picture of her with Geoffrey at a month old, screaming her head off. I told her that I was going to find that picture and put that one and the current one side by side, just for my own memories! But I digress...

I can't believe that my baby is going to be 7 years old in two weeks. It really blows my mind to think how fast these 7 years have flown by. No matter how old she gets, she's always going to be my little baby girl! No doubt about that!

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Happy National Make Your Dreams Come True Day!

Today is noted as Make Your Dreams Come True day and while I don't have any smaller dreams that I could make come true, I wanted to write about how my dreams have changed now versus when I was a child. 

My mom always stressed to me that I can do anything that I put my mind to and work towards, so I have always had some pretty great dreams. 

I started figure skating when I was three years old and my ultimate goal, when I was younger, was to be a figure skater.  I had dreams of being in the Olympics and winning all of these medals for my figure skating.  Skating three days a week solo and one on a synchro team, I felt like I was working towards my goal at a fast pace and I had a passion for skating.  Lessons, competitions and exhibitions went on for fourteen years until I was 17 years old.  When I was 17 years old I fell during a local end of the year exhibition and found out, after the fact, that I had broken a small bone in my ankle.  That injury took a lot out of me, going to physical therapy after healing that I was out for a few months at that point.  Once I got myself and my strength back, I decided that it had been too long and lost faith in myself.   I figured that I wouldn't be testing at, what was supposed to be, my skill level and I didn't want to be a level behind my old teammates. 

Eleven years later, as I sit here as a 28 year old, I regret my decision.  I regret not going back to finish out my figure skating dream.  I know I could have been great and could have possibly gotten to a higher competitive level.  Would I have gotten to the Olympics? The odds were against that but I could have kept believing that it was a possibility.  I still skate for fun and I teach my kids how to figure skate, but that's about it.  I no longer have any figure skating aspirations, unfortunately. 

Art has always been in my life and has always been a passion of mine but when I was injured it became a larger portion of my life.  While I was injured I did a lot of painting and drawing because I honestly had nothing else to do.  I realized that I wanted to go to art school and wanted to attempt to become a professional artist.  At that point in my life, I didn't realize how competitive the art field is and how many artists do not become famous.  Before I graduated High School in 2003 I found out that I was accepted into a small art college on a full scholarship, I was beyond excited that I solely got the scholarship based on my skills and my portfolio.  I realized that I really was as talented as people had said I was.

During my Freshman year I fell in love with a friend of my brother, got engaged and was pregnant by February of 2005. Unfortunately, because of being in an art school, they would not allow me to continue while pregnant.  (They didn't want to be liable if anything happened because of the materials used.)  So I traveled back home, still having high hopes and aspirations for an art career.  I had planned on going back after she was born. 

When my daughter (Alayna) was born, everything changed.  I found a job at home, got a second job at H&R Block and continued on researching everything I could about Social Media Marketing, SEO, Internet Marketing, etc...

Eight years (and one more daughter) later, my aspirations and life goals have completely changed.  I now own my own business, still work for H&R Block and now want to become a successful business owner. 

In ten years I hope to have a successful business, still working for H&R Block (which I love) and married with one more child.  I hope to own my own home and am able to help support my family with my business, while still being at home with my kids.

Looking back, a lot has changed.  Maybe I didn't become an Olympic figure skater or a famous artist, but I still have my whole life ahead of me to dream.  I have two beautiful kids, a boyfriend who is amazing and know that my future is going to be great no matter what happens.

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When it Rains, it Pours...

 

Sometimes I don't know why things happen the way they happen.

 

We moved out of my childhood home in August due to a reverse mortgage (that turned into a foreclosure) that my grandparents left us when they passed away.  Our moving was a few months earlier than we really had to move, but we found the perfect one family home and didn't want to miss the opportunity to live there.  My mom lived at that house all her life, so there was 28 years of my life there and 61 years of her life there.  Needless to say, some things were left in the house when we moved and we were periodically going back and forth to move more and clean some things out.

 

Tuesday I went to the house to check the mail and to grab a new bottle of floor cleaner and was met with a mess. A flood.

 

Water everywhere; the entire second floor was flooded.  Boxes that we were packing and items water damaged, gone.  A pipe had burst in our extremely cold weather and water was spurting everywhere like an open hydrant.

 

I walked down to the first floor only to find more of a mess.  The ceiling in my old bedroom was on the floor, my old ceiling fan was hanging by two wires.  Thank God the electricity was turned off back in August because our outlets near the floor board would have ignited an electrical fire if the water had gotten into a live outlet. 

 

What a mess.  It was the most depressing site, seeing your childhood home completely flooded and ruined.  I cried, my mom cried, the girls cried.  Mostly, my crying was about family memories that were gone forever.  Family videos got flooded, family pictures were water damaged, so much was lost.

 

I made it down to the basement to turn off our main water line but it must have been flooding for a day by that point because there was ankle deep water everywhere in the house.  My art studio in the basement, however, was somehow spared.  I don't know how, but someone must have been watching over that room and all of my hard work inside of it because it wasn't flooded or touched by the water at all.  I can only believe that was a miracle, seeing how every other room was a watery mess.

 

Today we went back to save what we could and told the bank that we are finally leaving that house and not going back.  Everything we left in the house is now their possession and they can do whatever they would like with it.  We saved what memories we could and brought them to our new house.  They told us that due to the extent of the flooding the house is going to have to be condemned and demolished.  Our old house was over 100 years old and it was a wood framed house, which is now compromised because of the water seeping between the floorboards and inside the walls.

 

It's a sad thought to know that the house I first lived at, grew up in, where my kids were born and where my grandparents died is going to be completely gone in a few months.  The place where all of our memories are will be gone forever, but we will still have all of those memories to hold on to. 

 

At least this happened after we already moved and not while we were still living there.  That's the only good I can find in this heartache. 

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Happy Thanksgiving 2013!

Happy Turkey Day to all of my amazing readers!  I hope everyone has a day filled with family, fun and tons of Turkey.  I can't wait to have my first Thanksgiving in my new home with the people that I love.  It's going to be a great day, I just know it!  My mom and I have been cooking since yesterday and we can't wait to devour the great food that we made.  I also hope that I can make it out tonight for some Black Friday shopping fun!  

What am I thankful for on this Thanksgiving?

• My children who mean the world to me.  They're my life and I would never exchange them for anything in the world 

• My new home that I am absolutely in love with.  I'm so glad that I found this beautiful place to be in for the Holidays and love that we have a lot more room for our family.  All of my anxiety about moving was just silly!

• My family who is so supportive and helpful, I don't know what I would have done without them in the past year.  They've helped me emotionally, financially and in every way in between.

• My friends who have been there for me through absolutely every hardship and great memory I've had in the time that I have known them.  Some friends have come and gone but my true friends will always be by my side...I'm thankful for that.   

Once again, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.  

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Deception, Lies and a Two Faced Boss - Why I Quit My Last Job

Writing Prompt Courtesy of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop

Tell us about a job you quit...why did you do it?

In March of 2013 I lost a job that I loved so very much, it was a huge heartbreak for me and really sent me into a depression that I wanted to get out of.  After sending in resume after resume and feeling very let down, I got a phone call from a company local to my town looking for a Social Media Manager/Strategist.  I was incredibly excited because I didn't think my town was technologically advanced enough to even know what Social Media was. (I may be slightly exaggerating, but I doubt it.)  I went in for the interview, loved that this place was local, it was a small company, seemed great.  The pay was low, but hey - I needed a job.  I was desperate and I think that's what they saw, they saw my vulnerability.

The Monday after my birthday I got a phone call that they wanted to hire me and wanted me to start the next day.  I jumped at the chance, accepted the offer and was majorly excited that I actually found a job in my field locally, since I had been driving almost an hour each way every day for work.

When I first started it seemed great, the manager wanted to hear my ideas, we bounced ideas off each other, I got a blogging list prepared, an editorial calendar, scheduled some social media posts, etc...  The third week I felt like everything went to hell.  My manager started to say that Social Media wasn't working for him, he wanted to nix his plan for that, he wanted me to completely re-design their website (for the $10/hour I was getting paid), he wanted me to make cold calls to local businesses, etc...  Immediately I got frustrated, this was not in my job description.  I am a social media manager, consultant and strategist not an entry level intern working for minimum wage -- no offense to anyone!  Besides, completely re-designing a website for $10 an hour?  I have done that for companies before and gotten much much more than $10 an hour.  After this the manager turned incredibly rude to me, ordered me around, constantly wanted to start arguments about how Social Media is worthless, etc...  So one Friday I left and never returned.  I e-mailed them telling them that I had it with busting my ass for $10 an hour, being disrespected and doing things that were on a lower level than what I wanted to do.  I felt like I was misled at first, I felt like this was their plan all along and I was not going to stay somewhere I didn't feel welcome.  I was done.

Two weeks later I came to find out, they decided they were not going to pay me for the hours I worked the two weeks prior.  Why?  Because I left them hanging.  After a long argument on the phone with my manager and his superior I contacted the New Jersey labor board and within two weeks after that, they sent me a check in the mail.

Moral of my story? My mom warned me before I started there.  She told me that the company I was going to be working for was a "re-start" of a company that went bankrupt a few years back.  She told me they had a horrible reputation for shitty customer service, cheating customers, unreliability, etc...  I dismissed her concerns -- I should have listened to her.  That was a month of my life I'll never get back, I could have been looking for better jobs and settled for that.

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Adoption is Another Word for Love - My Siblings and I

Prompt courtesy of Mama Kat's Writing Workshop

Share a story about a sibling that still makes you smile.

 I was adopted when I was a month old and I grew up as an only child.  People ask me if I remember when my mom told me I was adopted -- I don't.  For some reason I can't pinpoint the exact age at which she told me, I just know that I've always known.  My mom was never secretive or closed about my adoption, she always passed along any information that she knew.  I was always allowed to ask questions and as soon as I became a teenager, my mom told me that if I ever wanted to find my biological family she would be in full support of me.

Right before my 18th birthday I became nosy and snuck into my mom's room when she was at work.  I was on a mission to find my adoption papers to see if there was anything she had not told me.  You know, as a teenager you think your parents are always being deceptive.  Well, I found the non identifying information that my mom had and I found out some information that my mom had not shared because I never asked.  Seeing the information right in front of me in black and white gave me this strong desire to find out who I was and where I came from.  

I don't remember how I brought up the topic of wanting to find my biological family, but my mom was in full support of me.  To make a very long and drawn out story short, in June of 2003 I met my biological mother, grandmother, sister, brother and two nieces; it definitely wasn't the fairy-tale reunion that I had always dreamed of, but it was part of who I was.  There was just one thing missing, my biological mother had another daughter two years before me who she also placed for adoption -- the social worker at the adoption agency was having a very hard time finding her.  I felt almost complete, but had to find her as well. 

I was in college when my oldest sister and I decided to hire a private detective who specialized in adoption reunions to find her.  Surprisingly, it took just a day or two for that woman to find her, and she called us with all of her information.  She asked if we wanted her (PI) to contact our sister first, or if we wanted to be the first call.  I'm not sure if my sister or I decided, but we said that we wanted to be the first call to her, I guess because we didn't want her to run away if the PI called her first.  

Sitting in my dorm room, I remember calling her and not knowing what to say.  The first thing I said when she answered the phone was, "I think I'm your sister."  The worst part?  She had no idea that she was adopted.  Her parents never told her, I don't know why they never told her, but I was the one who told her she was adopted.  I felt horrible.  After she talked to her mother about it she called me back and I remember talking to her for hours.  We really got to know each other and found out that we had something else in common -- both of our adopted names were KRISTIN -- spelled the same way. 

Now, 10 years later; Kristin, Shirley and I have a great relationship.  We are definitely making up for the missed time we didn't have each other to depend on.  Kristin and I get together for lunch, dinner, shopping or movies at least once a week (or so) and Shirley and I get together once every two weeks for lunch, since we work near each other.  I never want to take for granted having my siblings in my life because I didn't have them for the longest time.  We now have to catch up on 18 years, and that's hard to do.  My sisters are incredibly important to me and any time I spend with them makes me smile.

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My Experience with Being an Adoptee.

Twenty-Seven years ago I was adopted at just a month and 2 days old.  My mom has always told me the story of how she got the phone call from Pat, her case worker, and how I was brought home on a very rainy April 19, 1985.  I have been asked so many questions in my lifetime about being an adopee, from those who are curious about the whole situation.  Because of that, I thought that I would address them here for anyone who is also curious.

"Can I ask an adoptee questions?"

It depends on the person and how open they are about being adopted.  I always welcome questions from others and never felt shame about being adopted.  I actually feel incredibly special because I had two mothers who loved me enough to give me a great life that I may not have otherwise had.  I love to educate others on what it's like to be an adoptee.

Different Types of Adoptions

It seems as though some people don't know there are different types of adoptions.  My adoption was a closed adoption, meaning that my parents had absolutely no contact with my biological parents and didn't even know who they were.  All my mom knew was the very vague and small amount of information she received from the adoption agency.  She also receive some "Non Identifying Information" which is a small document with basic health and general information about my biological family.  

There are also open adoptions which became more of the norm in the 1990's.  This means that the adoptive and biological parents know each other and are allowed to share information about the child.  They are even able to get together with the child a few times per year, based on the legal agreement with the adoptive family.   I think this is a great option since the adoptees get to know about their biological family, why they were adopted and have access to all of their health information.

"Do you know your real parents?"

My "real parents" are the parents that adopted me.  Giving birth to a child makes you a mother and a father, yes, but not a "mom" and a "dad".  The love, nurturing and caring though the years makes real parents.  That is something that birth parents cannot do no matter how much they love their biological child.  

"Do you ever want to meet your biological parents?"

I met my biological mom and siblings back in 2003.  The adoption agency who placed me assisted in the search but I also hired a private investigator who specialized in adoption reunions to find another adopted sister.

All my life I had dreamed about how my reunion would be and when it finally happened, it was nothing like what I imagined.  I felt very let down and actually did regret the reunion for a few months.  I felt like the imagining was better than the actual outcome.  My biological mom was very quiet and never said that she loved or missed me, which is what I wanted her to say.  Now, almost 10 years later, I am thankful for the opportunity I had to meet her.  My biological mother and grandmother passed away in May and June of this past year and even though I never got a chance to know them too well and ask questions that I still had, I am grateful for the times I had with them.  I will always admire my biological mother for having the strength to give me a better life.

"Do you ever wish your biological parents would have kept you?"

While I do wonder what it would have been like to stay in that family, no.  I don't wish they would have kept me at all actually.  Meeting them and hearing how tough their lives were made me feel more thankful for what I actually had growing up.  I am thankful to my (adoptive) mother for giving me everything that my biological family wouldn't have been able to give me.

"Why were you given up for adoption when other siblings weren't?"

Believe it or not I have been asked this quite a few times.  I have a 32 year old brother and a 30 year old sister that my biological mom kept.  My other sister is 29 and I am 27.  My biological mother placed me and my older 29 year old sister.  Why?  Thankfully when I found out I had siblings I also found my non identifying information that explained to me what happened.  My birth parents were unmarried and my birthmom decided to try to parent the two older siblings.  When my sister and I were born, unfortunately, she didn't have the means to take care of all of us.  She decided to give my sister and I a better life.  The one thing I have never been clarified on is why they separated my older sister and I.  Both my mom and her mom said they signed papers saying that they are willing to accept other siblings from the same birthmom but my sister's mother never got a call about me.  That's the one question I have that has gone unanswered for years.

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Halloween and Hurricane Sandy

Monday October 29th was a scary day for most of the east coast, especially for those in New York and New Jersey.  Like most people, I thought the news stations were over hyping this hurricane.  I was sure the storm was going to be a mild one with just some rain and maybe higher than normal wind.  Boy was I wrong.  Monday morning came with high winds early in the day and some rain.  By the late afternoon the winds were starting to shake our windows and make us worry about the large tree in our yard.  We all kept our eyes glued to the TV to stay updated on the hurricanes progress.  When we saw what was going non down the Jersey Shore, we knew we had to be prepared for the worst.

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Zeiss Lenses and their Educational Tools

Your eyes and your eyesight is nothing to joke around with, this is why Zeiss Lenses has a full educational community with many tools to help you learn to protect your eyes and take care of them.  They have full information on how to choose an eye doctor and this is very important information.  There are some eye doctors, and trust me I have been to them, who don't give you the proper instructions for care with your eyes, glasses and lenses.  You want a reputable eye doctor who has the reputation of being knowledgeable and assisting their patients fully with their eyes and eye care.

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My daughter, the model.

Yesterday my mom bought Alayna a brand new dress and winter boots for school and wearing out. (Aka: Being fashionable at age 6...)  Of course, my little diva has to pick the most mature dress and mature boots because they're "really cool".  (I never cared about being cool when I was 6...)  Well, when she woke up this morning and found out we were going to the grocery store, she wanted to be in high fashion, so she put on her new dress, leggings and boots.  Then...she wanted to be a "model".  She really could be a model, if we knew how to!  lol  She told me that when she grows up she wants to be a singer or actor.  She also says that if she can't be that, she could "deal" with being a model.  Wooow...

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Back in the job searching world.

So, I'm back in the job search world.  Last week I got a call from my boss that I lost my job.  I took a leave back in June that was for 8 weeks and apparently they wanted me back before the 8 weeks was over.  (Though they never told me that.)  Maybe my mom being sick and having 2 mini strokes, diabetes and then getting her gallbladder removed wasn't a good enough excuse for me needing that 8 weeks to help her out.  I sent them all the medical documentation they needed, but they didn't really care.  I'm the only caregiver of my mom and that's why I needed the full 8 weeks... It was very frustrating.  I'm upset, hurt and very angry that they did this to me, especially during the wrong time of the year.  I have my kids' birthdays coming up as well as Christmas and now I'm back trying to find a job.  

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Do low income families need better parenting skills?

I read an article today that was titled, Are Poor Parents Poorer at Parenting?  Just the title made me a little angry because I don't see how income really makes parents good, bad or needing improvement.  Even though I was angry I decided to read the article and to give it a chance; I'm seriously an optimist at times!  To be honest, the article was not half bad and did touch on the fact that even middle class and upper class families can use some parenting help.  It got me thinking, How many people actually feel this way about low income families?

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Hectic and Crazy Life

Sometimes I feel like I am or have to be super mom, especially lately.  Maybe my life will calm down a little bit, but I can't make myself any promises.  Last week I starte a new job with Comcast and started training last Monday.  I absolutely love the job, it's a customer service job and a new job working from home, but the training clashes with Bluefly.  So, for three days last week I was doing Comcast orientation from 9:00 am - 5:30 pm and working Bluefly from 2:00 pm - 10:00 pm.  I pretty much worked for 13 hours straight!  Absolutely exhausting. 

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Friday at Last! (Blog & Hops)

Sorry for the tackiness, but I had to use something glitzy to make myself feel better. Ha!  I have had the month week from hell.  I told my friend the other day, if I actually had a month week that went well, I'd be shocked.  Everything seems to go wrong lately! I definitely hope that things start looking up, but I highly doubt that.  At least I am not alone in feeling like life is overwhelming.  Two of my friends feel the same way, as well as a nice client that I met yesterday as well.  Maybe it's just a bad month for everyone.

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Why I want to someday adopt...

Twenty six years ago, there was a little girl that was born to a mom with two other kids already.  This mom had placed a little girl for adoption two years before, since she couldn't take care of another child.  This mother made the selfless decision to place this new baby girl for adoption as well to give her a better life.  She knew that she could not take care of this little girl, as much as she wanted to, and it was the best decision to make.  It's a brave and selfless decision that is made with the heart.

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Do you overreact to the storms?

I've been posting  a lot of rants lately and this is a rant/humorous post. (Or so I am going to try to make it a humorous post...even though I am actually typing this at 1 am.  So most of my humor has gone down the drain.)

As everyone knows, the east coast has been getting hit hard with storms.  Especially the New York metro area.  We have had 3 huge snowfalls to date and some smaller ones in between.  Very unusual for this area during this season.  We may usually see one large storm or even absolutely none.  We haven't had a Winter full of storms like this since 1995/1996.  They have been hyping this storm up for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday up for days now and everyone did their ritualistic mad rush to the grocery store in order to get the essentials.  (Including us! lol)  So today comes and I wake up expecting this huge snowfall.  There wasn't even an inch on the ground.  Sure, the ice wasn't too fun this morning, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.  In fact, when I got to work, a lot of people were breathing a sigh of relief because there was no snow.  

The ice was bad enough that people could not walk on unsalted sidewalks and we did see some people slide right in front of work.  When I was driving home I had terrible ice on my side view mirrors and really had to drive home with caution since I couldn't see out of them.  (They really need defrosters on those, by the way!)  


I got home and started working my second job, the girls are playing on my bed, and my mom comes barging in.


"We need to get batteries for the flashlights..."  


Um...ok mom.  There isn't a huge storm, it seems like it passed us, why do we?


"The news is saying that there is going to be a huge ice storm tonight into tomorrow and they're expecting a lot of outages."


Ok mom...do we ever lose power during storms?  

At this point, my mom has begun to scare my girls. They're looking at her like the men in the white jackets should come and take her away.  I'm serious, the girls thought she was crazy.  Alayna even asked if Grandma was ok!

"We need to get ready in case we have a long term outage and need to go to one of the safe areas."


What the hell? Really mom?  So right about then, the girls were freaking about because my mom said they might have to leave here for a few days.  Alayna was running around screaming that she couldn't find her favorite stuffed dog, Olivia ran for her Hide and Seek Jo Jo and I'm sitting here in the midst of this madness shaking my head and trying to find out why my mom is overreacting like this.


Of course, the news hypes this up, as they always do.  Maybe I'm always the 'doubting thomas' until something actually happens, but I read so many conflicting weather reports that I don't know what to believe.  I'm the optimistic one...the eternal optimist.  I never want to believe something until it happens.  I was the one who didn't believe we were getting a blizzard (a few days after Christmas) until I woke up and couldn't open my front door because of the 34 inches of snow outside.   So even in this situation, I'm not going to believe we are having a huge storm with ice and snow tomorrow until I wake  up and see it in the morning.


As a matter of fact, I went to the store right after work tonight to get some things that we needed and some breakfast for myself tomorrow to take to work. (Even though my mom swears up and down that I am not going to go to work tomorrow... Whatever floats her boat!)  


So, in closing, (I know, you're all breathing a sigh of relief that I am almost done)  if it does end up being a huge storm tomorrow I will eat my words.  I will admit that I am still the eternal optimist and I will apologize to my mom for doubting her.  Hell, I'll even call up ABC and apologize for cursing them out while watching my TV.  :D HAHA!!  I just don't feel, with the weather the way it is right this second, that we're going to have that huge storm.

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It sucks to be head of household.

Every year on my taxes, I file head of household.  Why?  Because basically, I am.  My mom is unemployed because she cannot work.  She has had an injured knee for years and since she is unemployed and has no income, she doesn't have insurance to get the surgery that she needs.  While I am trying to see if I can add her to my benefits for health insurance at my job, we have to wait to see if that can be done.  So for now, she watches my girls when I am at work and I give her what I can for babysitting my two maniacs kids.  I know that what I give her per week isn't a lot, but it is enough to get her through what she currently needs.  I know that she wants to get a job to help out.  I also feel that once she gets her knee surgery and can stand and walk again, she definitely will try to get something little to bring more money into the house.  My mom has always worked and I know she feels helpless when she can't do much.

It's so hard, being a 25 (and 3\4!) year old single mom who is also supporting her mother and everything in the house.  Especially since I am one that works two jobs and tries to hold down the home as well.  My jobs aren't high paying jobs, they're retail and reception.  While I do get paid more than other employees because of my experience and work ethic, it's still difficult to work all I have to work to get the money we need to keep the house going.  Now that I do have two jobs, I am trying to save money per paycheck in a savings account and emergency fund.  We have to get back on our feet, and we will.  I feel so useless, sometimes, that we live paycheck to paycheck, but that's all that can be done right now.  In the future, I hope to get a job that pays more so we can be comfortable and not apprehensive, but at least we are no longer worrying about where our next meal will come from.  (A few years ago, that was actually one of our concerns.)

This is why I clip and search for coupons, this is why I have put so much time into studying the right way to use and stack coupons and this is why I try to save all I can where I can.  It's a really great feeling to get a $100 grocery bill for $40 or even sometimes less.  This is why I go to many different stores and not just one grocery store, but this is also why I am stressed.  Sometimes it feels like I am running errands all day and have no break time.  I also wish that my mom would appreciate me more for all that I do.

My mom is a great person, she really is.  I love her for so many reasons and appreciate her for adopting me and giving me the life that I wouldn't have had otherwise.  She supported me for so many years, even working two jobs at one point so I could have what I wanted.  I love my mom and I know that I am giving back to her by supporting her right now.  Sometimes, though, I feel like I am underappreciated and not giving the credit that I am due.  There are times that she yells at me for being out going to different stores, but how else would we get the good deals that we are?  There are even times she yells at me for being exhausted and wanting to take a nap.  I work two jobs that are very difficult and stressful.  On top of that, cleaning the house as much as I have to, making dinner, figuring out what to make for dinner, and all the other mommy-hood duties -- at the end of the day I am asleep standing up.  Sometimes I just wish she would understand and thank me for all I do.  She does occasionally, but the days that she disrespects me and tells me I am lazy, it hurts. 

I shouldn't be complaining about this and I should be lucky that I have a mother who cares and watches my kids, that I have a place to live and that I have a job to support my family and put food on the table.  I just needed to get this off my chest.  This is why I love blogging, I can rant and rave and maybe one or two people who read this would relate.

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What our kid's kids won't know...

While at work today (I know, shame shame) I was reading Yahoo and saw this article on the front page.  Thinking about this for a while, from reactions my daughter had to some items that we still have at home, this blog is long overdue!  Featured promidently on the front page was this article about, Things Babies Born in 2011 Will Never Know About...  Having thought about this for a long time, I thought it's about damn time I blog about it...

We have lived in the same house all my life, and actually, my mom has lived there for 56 years as well.  So as you can imagine, our home is filled with items that are antique, vintage and just old!  There are things there from her childhood as well as mine.  (Yes, we STILL have old toys of mine -- we're packrats!)  Since we are going to have to be moving sooner or later, we have been slowly clearing through things we don't want anymore.  Now, you know kids are very nosey, and mine have been wanting to see and play with toys that we had put away that were mine.  I've heard many different things from them from, "Hey, this Barbie doesn't have fashionable clothes!" to "These toys don't make sounds?" and even, "This gameboy is black and white!"  Ahh, kids of the technology age...  I had to explain to them that the technology in the 80's and 90's really wasn't what it is now.  Video game systems were black and white for a while as well as pixelated when they finally got color.  Try explaining that to a 5 year old who ALREADY thinks you're old at 25. (And 3/4s!)

This article is right on at most of the items that they feature.  My kids only know about VHS tapes because I brought some up that have older kids shows on them. (And even then, they giggled about the poor quality! We didn't have HDTV back then!)  They have no idea what a cassette tape is, I showed them once and they laughed.  They asked how I got that into a CD player in my car. Ha! 

Most importantly, kids will not know how to use their imagination when they play with each other.  What about just going outside and playing a nice game of tag?   Video games and other electronic toys have prevented kids from being active.  It's difficult, these days to get kids off the computer, video games, etc... to actually go outside.  (I know this first hand.)  It isn't only the kids fault, some of their parents also encourage this and use TV, Video Games and so on as "babysitters".  However, that isn't the way that we should be dealing with our children.  Quality time is important for behavior and growth.

It's actually pretty intriguing how technology  has changed even from the 1980's when I was born.  Things have advanced so much and will just keep advancing in the future.  I found that article pretty interesting for many reasons. (Even though, I do disagree about the watch -- people still will wear watches as fashion pieces.  Seldom do people want to actually dig in their purse or reach in their pockets to find out the time)  Our children are the future.  They will see more changes and advances than anyone else. 

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Who doesn't love a good carnival??

The Carnival is in town!!  Ok, well, it's one town over in Staten Island.  Anyhow, we ended up going yesterday and Joey (Olivia's dad) ended up joining us.  He wanted to come down for the day to spend with both of my girls and myself and I thought that staying in the house on such a beautiful day just wouldn't be right. So, we took a ride to the carnival.

Alayna, Myself, Olivia, Her dad

Honestly, I wait for this carnival every year because it is one of the best for the kids.  It's fairly priced, great games and they usually always have more than enough kiddy rides to make paying the bridge, admission and tickets worthwhile...  Again, it didn't fail me! We had more than enough fun there and it actually expanded this year! (Yay!)  The kids couldn't wait to get on rides, although Olivia got freaked out on the carousel because it goes up and down.  Haha.  She finally calmed down towards the end.  It took her dad and I to both hold her until she calmed down!  (Thank God Alayna is big enough to basically ride on her own. haha.)  Though, after that ride, she loved everything else that she chose to ride.  Come to think of it, she actually wanted (so badly) to ride the small roller coaster and the scrambler. LOL  I had to say no, but if she keeps up lovin' the awesome rides when she gets older, I doubt either myself or her father would protest!!  

 Olivia tired with daddy

 Alayna and Olivia's dad on the slide :)

 

Of course, there were PLENTY of edible temptations at the Carnival.  Come on, it's CARNIVAL FOOD...the most delicious, best smelling, deep fried and fattening food that you could possibly think of.  Actually, the only thing worse than Carnival food is NYC street fair food... (But even then, they have some healthy options! ha)  One of the best temptations were Deep Fried Oreos...

Ok, so I have been dying to try these and I've heard so many great things about them.  Not to mention, Olivia's dad, my mom and the kids wanted some...  So over I went to the counter.  

Ok.... Yes, I had one.... JUST ONE!!  I figured that one frikkin yummy golden and chocolatey deep fried oreo wouldn't kill me.  (Oh yes, I did feel the guilt as I had a bite...but the warm yummy goodness of this damn thing masked the guilt until I got home!!) lol :)  I only had one...I swear.  The kids, Olivia's dad and my mom ate the others.  The guilt is still eating at me!! (Side note: At least this morning I woke up and was still LOSING weight.  Praise the Lord that one deep fried oreo didn't kill me.)  By the way... they're 'mmm mmm good.' ;)  

It's getting so warm out, I hope to finally weed the yard, plant the lovely vegetables in the ground and put our pool up... All without getting mosquito bites.  My tan is too nice, I'm so afraid to get gross mosquito bites and mess it up!!

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Keeping kids busy at a restaurant or on the road?

I recall so many times in the past few years that I have taken my kids or one of my daughter's out to dinner and ended up with boredom on my hands.  Sure, those lovely coloring sheets and two crayons keep them busy for a few minutes, but after that novelty wears off, you may have flying napkins, chicken, fries or other intimate objects that seem to be catapulted from their small hands or from a spoon!  This was a common occurrence when we went out to dinner, that I stopped taking my kids to dinner.  

That was until I got my iPhone.  When I realized the great variety of things I could do with the phone, including things that could keep my kids busy, I was ecstatic.  I loved the idea that it could definitely keep them busy at a restaurant.  I did a trial, taking them to a local restaurant and when the coloring books and other means of side tracking failed, I decided to pull out my iPhone.  That thing is a lifesaver.  

My 4 year old could sit at the table with her earphones and listen to her favorite songs (Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, Imagination Movers, etc...) if her sister is pre occupied, or they could watch videos on YouTube or iTunes!!  We have downloaded many different episodes of their favorite cartoons on my iPhone and that usually works perfectly!  

If all else fails, we also have many different children's games.  Some are free and some are very cheap ($0.99-1.99) and we love the games.  They keep my kids very occupied.  Some of our favorite games are:

• Bejeweled 2
• Skee-Ball (Most Popular)
• Checkers
• 300 Bowl
• Wack A Groundhog
• Bubbles (Most Popular)
• Make Me A Princess (Most Popular)
• Bug Squash
• Fairies (By Disney)
• Slingshot
• Shapes (Most Popular)
• Dora Saves Crystal Kingdom
• Ice Tycoon
• First Words
• iChihuahua
• Puzzle Time

Those are the games that we play an awful lot and love them!  They keep my kids very occupied and definitely gives the adullts time to eat and have our own conversations. :)  The great thing is, my kids learned to share the iPhone and take turns playing.  I believe that has been a huge part of their learning to share as well. 

We're taking a trip this summer which will consist of 5 hours in the car with my kids.  I'm hoping to get an iPad to use mostly for myself for my business as well as my kids for their amusement in the car!  Since I can't afford one myself, I am hoping to win one.  Please pray for me! :D

DISCLAIMER: I’m participating in a contest at Best Kids Apps, a blog about iPhone apps for kids, for a chance to win an iPad.

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