Mar 21, 2011

Why I want to someday adopt...

Twenty six years ago, there was a little girl that was born to a mom with two other kids already.  This mom had placed a little girl for adoption two years before, since she couldn't take care of another child.  This mother made the selfless decision to place this new baby girl for adoption as well to give her a better life.  She knew that she could not take care of this little girl, as much as she wanted to, and it was the best decision to make.  It's a brave and selfless decision that is made with the heart.

Twenty six years ago, that little girl was me.  

My biological mother placed me for adoption because she could not take care of me to the best of her ability.  She already had my older brother, my older sister and placed my middle sister for adoption two years before she had placed me.  To my knowledge, I had been in an agency-approved foster home for one month until my adoptive mom, who is my mom, brought me home.  

I've been blessed to be placed with a family who gave me everything and had the means to.  For years I wondered about who my biological family had been and I actually snuck into my mom's papers to find my non-identifying information.  I had found out, back in 2002, that I had two sisters and a brother.  I was determined to find them, I longed for my siblings and to learn where I came from.

Thanks to the original social worker who placed me with my mother, I found my biological family in 2002. (Sans my other sister who was adopted.)  From there, my sister, brother and I had hired an outside agency to find my other sister; and we did.  We found her in 2004 and we were extremely happy to have each other.  Was my reunion what I thought it would be? Not at all.  I had set my expectations so high and I honestly was let down slightly.  I wanted my biological mom to tell me how much she loved me and missed me for 18 years, but she was quiet and reserved.  I now know that is how she is, and I respect that.  We talk every once in a while, but she is really just another person in my life.  My mother is my mother, even though I was told early on that I was adopted and I was always told that I could look for my biological family anytime I wanted to.

Ever since I found out what adoption was, I wanted to adopt a child in the future.  I wanted to adopt because I felt like I wanted to give back to what my mom gave me.  When I am financially secure enough, I would love to give a child a better life than what they could have had.  I was rewarded with a great family and a great upbringing, and I think that's great gift to give back to another child.

I am a huge supporter of adoption, though I do not shove it down someone else's throat.  I do believe in women having a choice in certain situations, but I would never condone abortion.  I think because of the fact that I was adopted and because I had two girls and saw what a miracle pregnancy and birth is, I really feel that choosing life is the way to go.  

I still talk to my biological siblings, nieces and my biological mom.  We may not have the dream relationship, but at least I know where I came from.

My sister Shirley, Brother Shawn, Myself and my sister Kristin (also adopted)
Myself and my biological siblings the first time we met Kristin.