Dec 8, 2014

Goals and Aspirations Now vs. Pre Mom

My life completely changed once I had my first daughter in October of 2005.  Before becoming a mom I was very selfish and not concerned with the value of money at all.  I would go on shopping sprees with any money I brought in from work, I wasn't concerned with saving any of my money and I only cared about myself and my appearance.  I lived for primping myself up to be more attractive to men and my life revolved around finding a boyfriend so that I could fit in. 

I was 19 years old and in college when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter.  Among spending money on clothing, concerts, going out with my friends and going out with my fiance, I now had another concern; being pregnant.  It wasn't easy.  I spent many days trying to figure out how I would continue to lead the normal life of a 19/20 year old while pregnant and also while having a newborn.  One night I realized that I couldn't, I would just have to completely change the way I thought about myself, money and my free time. It seemed so challenging for me to think about having to change my ways.  It only felt challenging to me until she was born.

My oldest was born prematurely on October 5th, 2005.  She was 5 weeks early and was put immediately into the NICU for medical reasons and was there for nearly two months.  Once that happened everything changed in my life.  I was 100% devoted to my daughter and did everything I could to figure out ways to solve questions the doctors had about her and her health.  My life now revolved around this little (well, she was 8lbs 7oz) baby that was now mine.  

Goals and aspirations definitely changed from pre-mommy to post-mommy.  While I used to want to be an artist and figure skater, I had to put those dreams on hold while I tried my best to make a good living for myself and my girls.   I used to have goals of making new friends whenever I could and finding a boyfriend, I had to live for myself and my girls and not live for finding someone to be with long term.  I left it up to fate and not to my cruising dating websites or bars for a soul mate.  My priorities also changed in finding someone to date.  Instead of them being cute, having a car, having money and being independent; my main priority was to find someone who would treat my girls as their own and someone who would love me and my kids unconditionally.  

Your life, priorities, goals and aspirations completely do a turn once you become a parent.  You live for your kids and live for making their lives better; not your own.  

How have your priorities and goals changed since becoming a parent?