May 14, 2010

I can't believe it's Thursday...

My mom has been a bit down lately because of us having to move within the next few months, so I have been trying to really get her out of the house.  We don't go too many places, but I take her to Target or the mall or even out to a local diner just so she won't have to stay home constantly.  Today we took a ride to the newer Shop Rite that opened a few months ago. (Nothing too spectacular! I'm going to stick with my normal supermarket!!)  

As much as I'm excited to move and can't wait to have this big change, it is very sad that we have to move.  I've lived here for 25 years (Except for the short time I spent living in Philadelphia) and  this house holds so many memories for us.  Especially for my mom!  She has lived here all her life...which is over 50 years.  I constantly tell her that just because we move doesn't mean we have to leave the memories behind!  We can take those memories with us and keep them alive forever...  She feels as though my grandparents would be very sad that we can't afford to keep the house.  That's so untrue.  My grandparents would want us to do whatever makes us happy and whatever we can do to keep going on.  

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine lost her dad.  It was sad for me, because she is a close friend and I really love her to death.  I spoke to her yesterday and we ended up talking about the passing of our loved ones.  It brought up my grandparents again.  

Honestly,  I'm still not completely over my grandparents' passing.  It's been 2 years for my grandmother and a little over a year for my grandfather...Almost 3 years for my dad's dad...  My grandparents just meant so much to me.  Especially my mom's parents, who we lived with all our lives.  

My Nana (Mom's mom) was one of my best friends.  She is the person that I would go to if I wasn't getting along with my mom, or if I needed to talk, or needed homework help.  She was always there for me.  I have some great memories of my grandmother babysitting me when I was younger.  We would sit on the floor and play Barbies. I remember when my mom would go out to school functions very fondly...  My grandmother would have something very special planned for that night.  My grandfather would be upstairs watching TV and my grandmother would be downstairs with me.  She would make me a special dinner, watch TV or a special movie that we rented... She would keep me busy so I didn't have to worry about not being with my mom.  (I had very very bad attachment anxiety.)  We would read stories when I refused to sleep until my mom came home.  As much as I took it for granted back then, I miss those days.  Those days when it would be just me and my Nana.  I loved her so much.  

She loved my kids...  Alayna and Olivia were her life.  She came to the hospital when Alayna was born and I will never forget how happy she was.  My mom always says that my kids are what kept her going, and I agree.  Not long after she had her foot amputated due to diabetes, but she kept hanging on.  Alayna has very fond memories of her too.  Olivia is too young to remember her.  

My grandpa (Mom's dad) I was also very close to.  I was his little girl.  We would take walks around the corner to buy the newspaper when I was a kid.  He would walk in the house singing funny songs that I still can hear to this day.  They were the kind of songs that were just so hilarious, you can't forget them.  His jokes were stupid too, but they were funny even though I heard them over and over again.  

One of the big events in his life, which he loved to relive, was being in the military.  He was stationed in Alaska and always told the story.  By the time I was a teenager, I would roll my eyes whenever he told the stories... But now I miss them.  I'd give anything to hear those funny songs, hear the corny jokes or relive his cherished time in the military with him.  I realize just how much I took those things for granted instead of really taking the time to enjoy them.  I never realized just how short the time with our loved ones really is...  I thought my grandparents were invincible.  I thought they would always be around.  I never thought of any time when I would have to be without them.  

We live upstairs in their house now and have for 5 years.  Even though we remodeled and things look different, I still walk in the rooms and have so many memories.  Memories of our family dinners, or memories of hanging out in my grandmother's room...  It's going to be hard to leave here.  As excited as I am for something different,  It's not going to be easy to leave this place behind.  This is my home and always has been.