Aug 8, 2010

30 Day Blog Challenge: DAY EIGHT - A picture that makes you angry/sad

This picture makes me both angry and sad for many reasons.  This was my mine and my ex fiance's first Christmas together.  He is also Alayna's dad.  It makes me angry and sad because for too long I dealt with his emotional and verbal abuse.  I dealt with his lies and his bullshit.  I let him make me feel like shit by being walked all over, but yet I loved him.  He was my first real love and someone I loved with all of my heart.  He was the person I was supposed to spend my life with and raise my daughter with.  He ruined all of that when he left me 6 months pregnant for someone else.

My oldest always asks about her dad and all I can do is show her pictures.  The asshole refuses to see her, even though I would open my life to him at this point if he ever did want to see her or be in her life.  I would not protest at all because she deserves to know who her dad is...but it will never happen.  Even though a DNA test proved he was the father, he denies her.  Constantly.  He says he doesn't have a daughter.  He makes my daughter feel like crap without even being in her life because she feels like her daddy doesn't care about her since he doesn't see her.  I wish he could see the pain he is causing her and understand the 2 years of pain he caused me when I had to get over the person I was supposed to spend my entire life with.

Things happen for a reason and I know it is better that we didn't get married, but it's still very upsetting to me to even look at these pictures.  It hurts.  

I need to post a lengthy post about her dad and what happened some day.  Just to get it off my chest.