Jul 22, 2010

A Mother's Guilt...

Olivia's dad is one of the best dads I've seen in a long time.  He wants to be very involved in Olivia's life as well as Alayna's and I love that he cares for both of my girls.  He lives in Long Island and we live in New Jersey...that ride is a good hour/hour and a half long each way.  I have driven it a few times, but every other weekend her dad comes to pick her up for a great and fun weekend with him and his family.  
She has been going to her dad's house every other weekend since she was 7 months old, and at that time Alayna started to have a very hard time with Olivia leaving.  Alayna would cry when Olivia would be getting ready and when she would leave with her dad, Alayna would stand there on the front porch and cry while she waved to her sister.  I would promise her that while Olivia was gone we would have a very fun day, and we did.  We would do special activities with just myself and Alayna so I could give her that extra attention that she needed.
Finally, Alayna got used to the fact that Olivia would go every other weekend and she would look forward to our weekends together.  Even though she would still say she missed Olivia, she wouldn't be as upset as she had been in the past.  I thought we were finally over all of the crying and tears.
When Olivia turned 2, she started to get very upset at the fact that she would have to leave every other weekend to go with her dad and his family.  Of course, she loves them, but she wanted to stay with myself and Alayna.  Now I had the other one crying and refusing to go!  
I have to tell you -- It breaks a mother's heart when you see either of your girls crying over this!  It breaks your heart to have to put her in her dad's car, give her kisses and walk away while she's still crying and refusing to go.  I do know, however, that walking away is the best way to go because otherwise we'd be sitting there for hours with her crying and refusing to go.  It's heartbreaking, but I know she'll stop crying soon when she realizes she can't have her way; and she does!  We always look forward to our phone call from her and her dad 10-15 minutes after they leave when she's happy, calms down and adjusts to going.  
Even though I know she has fun and I love to see the pictures they post on Facebook of her visit, it makes me feel so guilty to just leave and walk away when she's crying in her dad's car.  I just hope that as she gets older the transition will get easier for both of my girls!